Of all the big games coming out this year, I didn’t expect Baldur’s Gate 3 of all things to get me so damn excited. I’m normally a fickle bitch when it comes to western fantasy, with many of my colleagues often badgering me for never playing Dragon Age or seeing all of the Lord of the Rings films. I’m getting around to them, I promise, it’s just taking me several decades.

With its full release across PS5 and PC coming in a matter of weeks, hype around Larian’s fantasy blockbuster is reaching fever pitch. Existing fans are raving about it, while a number of reveals and trailers have newcomers like me incredibly eager to dive in. So I did, installing the client that has sat in my Steam library for the better part of three years now. It was time.

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My thought process mainly revolves around getting a head start on Baldur’s Gate 3 ahead of its full release so I’ll have more time for Starfield and Exoprimal, the latter of which I’m still playing daily despite being less than kind in my review. But within moments I came to realise this wasn’t a good plan, neither was my PC willing to run a game like this without slowing to a crawl.

Even with DLSS it was a struggle, as if I was experiencing the suboptimal version of a game my friends had been raving about for years. Through the subpar performance and a range of environments that failed to load in on my struggling desktop, the game pulled me in regardless. I made a Tiefling with beautiful features and kickass horns before a wriggly mindflayer slid a cheeky worm into my brain. His ship crashes, and my adventure begins. I stopped playing shortly afterward, thinking it's better to not spoil myself with rubbish graphics and performance which turns even a turn-based affair like this into a frustrating chore.

Many of my expectations were based around recent previews and showcases, and that extends to both the detailed character creator and overall availability of classes and abilities. It’s selfish to say I expected more, but as a lowly shitmuncher who didn’t engage in the early access build nor follow its many updates, I have little context to ground myself. So please don’t get mad at me, I’m just a fledgling lover of western fantasy with no patience to play on my PC when a console version is right around the corner. Hopefully that will convert the control scheme and its myriad commands into an easy-to-digest format, because oh boy is this game a lot when you haven’t played one like it before. Again, please don’t get mad...

Baldur's Gate 3

Saves don’t carry over either, so I swallowed my pride and hit the uninstall button, content to be patient until a version that better appeals to my sensibilities comes along. I want to use a controller with easier commands and a nice, smooth framerate. Well, it will probably end up locked at 60 frames per second, but that’s better than watching the damn thing struggle the entire time. Sorry, Baldur’s Gate 3 - I know I’m gonna love you, I just need to be patient.

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