Greta Gerwig’s Barbie is an insightful examination of the patriarchal society we exist within and the unfair expectations placed upon men and women in the modern world, but it’s also extremely pink and a jolly good time. Editor-in-Chief Stacey Henley has already written about how the film is far more than anti-men in its intentions, so it’s up to me to carry the silly torch on behalf of TheGamer. As Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling explore the sunny beaches and gaudy artificiality of Los Angeles, the couple are blissfully ignorant of their surroundings and immediately find themselves in a variety of unrealistic hijinks.

While they don’t kill anyone or steal cars to carry out wanton destruction - at least not on screen - Barbie’s eccentric atmosphere and absurd personality kept reminding me of the open world brilliance we see in Saints Row. Particularly the third game, which constantly pokes fun at its own existence while still leaning into characters and writing that, at their very best, are incredibly heartfelt. Replace the shades of pink with a few smatterings of purple and the streets of Los Angeles with Steelport, and you’ve got two experiences strikingly similar in tone and atmosphere, albeit with less violence.

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In the past, Barbie games have been limited to stale platforming clones and knowingly rote dress-up and social games which lean into the brand’s infamously shallow femininity. Great for little girls and basement-dwelling superfans, but nothing pushed the boat out. Imagine an open world game which begins in the idealistic plastic confines of Barbieland. A place where everything is sublime and handily placed tutorials are found in the perfectionist repetition this society has deemed should never change. Until, one day, it becomes clear that something is wrong and steps must be taken to save both yourself and the inhabitants of Barbieland.

So off you pop with a stowaway Ryan Gosling in tow, travelling to the real world via a mix of spaceship, jetski, tandem bicycle, and adorable motorhome. I picture these moments playing like the Gummi Ship missions in Kingdom Hearts with their own beautifully distinct visuals or enemies consisting of stuffy executives or goblins with bad hair days and dripless outfits. It’d set the stage wonderfully before subverting our expectations as the open world is revealed…

…One where our dual protagonists of Barbie and Ken are treated with derision thanks to their bizarre cowboy outfits and complete lack of human social cues. We know exactly how they should behave in order to fit in, but the hypothetical game would have us performing tasks or jumping into the cringe-inducing fray to take on missions and find exactly what we’re looking for in the real world. Missions could involve infiltrating the Mattel HQ before taking part in a slapstick chase sequence with Will Ferrell and friends, or side missions where you’re pulling off sick rollerblading stunts on Venice Beach while avoiding the sexualised comments of nearby construction workers.

Saints Row 3

Barbie and Ken could also play differently, with unique skills and abilities while also being perceived differently in the open world even when interacting with the same places or characters. It’s a major theme of the film, so it’d make sense for a video game equivalent to be just as biting in its satirical delivery. Grand Theft Auto 5 with less misogyny and a more focused world that is willing to expect answers from the place it has lined with satire.

Returning to Barbieland wouldn’t be off the cards either, and by all likelihood would transform entirely as stories progress and Barbie and Ken go their separate ways. The sheer potential for outfits and vehicles won’t leave my mind. Just think about how hard an open world Barbie game could go that plays with the brand’s storied history, simultaneously honouring and subverting a name which has defined femininity for several decades now. It would be equal parts critique and homage, all while we explore its world and seek to make our own mark upon it. .

Barbie smiles while looking in an empty pink mirror

It’d be like a modern Lego game but with more human agency and a willingness to tell stories that mean something, leaning into the film’s proud identity while expanding it further with so many new ideas. The tone it was going for in its sudden bursts of slapstick violence and tongue-in-cheek humour was perfectly reminiscent of what Saints Row has always tried to capture, and what the recent reboot utterly failed to. Barbie could fill that empty void without any of the violence but all the charm and mayhem.

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