Kazuma Kiryu is still a virgin. Rumours began spreading after a new Like A Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Erased His Name trailer hinted that Kiryu had not only been around the block a few times, but was maybe even engaged and could have started a family. Fans across the world came to mourn in response. A man, who for years has been considered a precious cinnamon roll too pure for this world, had gone and done the nasty while we weren’t looking.
Throughout the six games he’s starred as protagonist, Kiryu occasionally has a slight romantic interest in female supporting characters, but this never results in a relationship nor sex that we glimpse on-screen. Even his surrogate daughter Haruka pops her cherry before him in Yakuza 6, as Kiryu is tasked with looking after her newborn baby while searching for his family in the rural streets of Hiroshima. There is no time for flirting and fucking when your entire life revolves around protecting the ones you love and beating up bad guys who dare look at you funny on the streets. Kiryu is a sexless being, and we love him so much for it.
Kazuma Kiryu might be a hardened veteran of the criminal underworld who has beaten up thousands of people over the years to protect his honour and avenge his loved ones, but he’s also a blissfully innocent little buttercup who will help random folks across the city of Kamurocho with the most menial of problems. Lost your dog in a dodgy gambling ring run through the local Beef Bowl restaurant? Kiryu will happily disguise himself as a chef as he works through the ranks to save your loyal canine. Nervous about coming out as queer to your friends and family? No doubt Kiryu would learn everything he can about your identity before making those closest to you understand that it’s right to love people for who they are. He’s just a good dude. A good dude who still has no idea about sex.
Not to say that Kazuma Kiryu isn’t an attractive man. He’s ripped as hell, has a loving personality, and is always eager to learn and listen, proving in past games that he literally takes bullets if it means doing the right thing. He’ll do stints in prison to help out his homies or even run major businesses purely for the wholesome thrill of it all. Kiryu could have all the men or women in the world if he wanted to, but the series’ continued obliviousness when it comes to this part of his life is something fans have clung onto and begun to savour. To do so, or make it explicitly clear that Kiryu is no longer an unsullied flower, will break our hearts.
There’s always a chance that the upcoming Man Who Erased His Name and Infinite Wealth will tease this long-held secret of Kiryu’s past, but man I hope it doesn’t. Keep our man pure and innocent for as long as possible, and it’s not like anyone is going to want to have sex with him sporting that haircut anyway.